I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
