Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
