I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
