More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
wow bdsm is so cute
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
