I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
