Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I didn't notice because vodka
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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