how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
