So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
