you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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