we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
