When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
