i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
