if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
