the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
