At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
