don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
