Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
