Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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