Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
