Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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