So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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