its not stalking. its research.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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