I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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