There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
