absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
