wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
