Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
