I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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