Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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