a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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