WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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