i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
