We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
