Non-Jews are for practice
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
