proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
