apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
