She said her name was "party"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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