And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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