she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
