I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
