is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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