It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
