peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
