i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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