Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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