they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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