East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
