But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
