In the future we'll all be gay
id be glad to
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
