So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
