I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
