sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
