so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
